Born With a Keyboard in My Hands

"Fuck off, Bitch!  I don't need someone goin' all stupid fast tellin' me how to do somethin' so fast I can't keep up.  And then talkin' down to me like I'm stupid.  Where the fuck is Kristen?!"

"Eehhh, MB!  Whazzup?"  My coworker was livid at my other coworker, Madeline.  She has a tendency to be... caustic.  At best.  She knows she's better than everyone.  When, in actuality, she's really just not.  She holds on to her job by sticking her nose so far up into where the sun don't shine that she probably doesn't even actually have to work.  She really doesn't anyhow.  That's what I'm for - doing her job.

He was pissed.  And rightfully so.  I've been talked down to by M plenty and it's infuriating.  Getting talked down to sucks in the first place.  Getting talked down to by someone who doesn't have the slightest clue what they're talking about is probably one of the most angering, blood boiling, make-your-heart-race-so-hard-you-think-you're-gonna-explode-in-order-to-not-kill-someone experiences you could ever have.

All he was trying to do was learn a little piece of software that allowed him to take pictures of one part of his screen so he could email it to someone.  It's called "Screen Hunter."  I have a different version of it, but felt confident that I could figure it out and teach it to him in about ten seconds.

"Will you just show me how to use "Screen Hunter"?  Fuckin' M downloaded some new version of it I don't need and then won't teach me how to use it," he was almost pleading.

"Yup.  Let me figure some of it out first."  Not that it's difficult, but him watching me do it wrong once or twice certainly wouldn't help anything.  His program is actually easier than mine.  He can hit F2 and start using it.  Doesn't have to open the program or anything.

Here goes nothing.....

So, I, in my perpetually impetuous state of mind once recommended that my girlfriends who are still in school come over on Thursday nights for a ladies/homework night. One's in law school.  One's a Master's student in English who also teaches.  One's an overachiever to the max - still in undergrad, but working harder than any undergrad-er that I've ever met.

Only... I'm not in school.

Thus, I have found myself attempting to find ways to look intelligent for a couple hours once a week and am hoping that writing'll take care of that.  

So far, it's a no go.

Both today and last week, I spent a large part of the time looking for old pieces to rework.  I found them, read them, and looked for them again tonight.  Super productive, right?  

It's fun, really.  I'm just too distracted and lazy to actually focus on my writing.  I never think I have anything worth writing about.  Unless it's going to be mere bitching and moaning about my day.  I'm sure David would like that for nothing more or less than the fact that I'm not talking to HIM about it.  I'm sure his little ears could use the break.  Plus, he really just wants to talk about what he "learned" on the interwebz that day.

This is why you've received two posts recently, though.  Because I have friends in school whom I'd see much less if I didn't have them over to my house for homework nights.

That's all I got.  I'm thinking that maybe - to make it seem like I still write - I'll just post some old pieces on here for a while... Get my readership up a bit in hopes to get my creative juices flowing.

Yeah... I'm Posting...

It's been forever, right?

I know I have some "loyal followers" out there, though.  Plus, I need to start writing again.  There's good reason to do it, so I may as well get back to it.  It is therapeutic.

I've wondered lately if I would have been better off during the passing of my grandfather (which happened ON my birthday two months and 12 days ago... and you'd be sad if you knew how quickly that exact number came to mind).  I probably could have handled the whole thing a lot better.

I'll admit, I did write a few things down right after he passed away, but they barely passed as good enough to post HERE.  And you know how crappy most of what I put on this blog are.

Anyhow, I need to start writing again.  And just posting this barely-a-morsel-of-a-piece-of-shit is going to have to suffice for now.  Writing is kind of one of those things I can easily lose any sort of motivation or passion for.  I did notice that the last time I wrote anything was only a few days before Christmas last year.

That said, a few things have happened:

• I went from sort of hating my job to TOTALLY hating my job, but in such a way that I love it and know that I will probably never quit.  And it's not easy to get fired from SWS, so the likelihood of that happening is slim and I really probably will become a "lifer."  Some of the people there have been there for over 30 years.  One dude is in his mid-70s, and quite, honestly, I have no idea how long he's been there other than "forever."
• Like I said, my grampa died.  Sucked giant donkey balls.  I'm still FAR from ok with it.  I don't go a week (even a few days) without crying about it.  I don't go a day without rationalizing myself out of going to his house to see my gramma.  It's still too weird.
• My relationship with my mother has improved.
• I'm tired all the time - I'm guessing it's a health issue.  Beyond a lack of taking vitamins.  And I don't care to get it figured out.
• I am in line for a promotion/raise.  The only thing slowing it down is that I am currently hourly and would need to be on salary to do what needs to be done and apparently that's unheard of.
• I have a legal situation that seemingly won't go away.
• I'm back to short hair.

I think that's really about it.  And, quite frankly, the only thing that is truly "worthy" of writing about is probably Grampa passing away and I know damn good and well that there's no good way for me to do that.  I keep thinking I could add it to some of the stuff I've previously written (specifically "Tonight" which I wrote a few years back, but I'm not sure I could actually do it).

Anyhow, welcome back, Me.  Let's see how long this keeps going.

And if you're "back" because I'm back, welcome back.  See ya.