I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I have the best grampa in the world. He's 85 years old, goin' on 86. As far as I know, he is not looking forward to his next birthday. Naturally, I tease him about it. Grampa is one of the most straightforward, opinionated people anyone could ever meet or even imagine. He knows what is best for everyone. And for the most part, what's best for one person is best for everyone else. It's not like he doesn't believe in individuality or think that each person's life is different, he just knows what he's seen work for other people and assumes that it'll work for others in similar situations.
That said, everyone should have a degree. A bachelor's degree. It should be in something "sellable" or something that "looks good on a resume." You sure as heck better be saving your money, and remember that "you can have a car, you can have money, but you can not have both." Girls should live at home until they get married. Dating is a waste of time unless it's the right person.
But probably the thing he has most definitely hammered into the skulls of his grandkids is to just overall do your best and be a good, kind, caring person. He cares more deeply for people than almost anyone I know. If he loves you - you'll know it. And he loves me. A lot. He's proud of me even though I only have a BA in Communication. I suppose I care about some people sometimes. Grampa has only told me three times that he's proud of me. Each time, it was accompanied with a hug and a kiss. One time stands out tremendously.
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It was Easter of 2008. Obviously it was a Sunday. It was about three days after my dad's birthday, so we made it an Easter/Birthday Day. On my dad's birthday, I dumped my boyfriend of three years.
Chris Schlavin was one of the worst things that has ever happened to me. Sure, we had some good times (sometimes) and I learned a lot - so in some ways he was a good thing for me. But, long story short, he treated me pretty badly but I stuck with it because it looked better. He was emotionally and verbally abusive. Well, I didn't really think it was abuse, but many people around me felt it was that bad.
From before I even started dating him, people had told me I could do better. He wasn't as "good a person" as me was the typical reasoning. He didn't like to help people, didn't care about people, was rude for no reason, had no good social skills, and was a slacker. I'm the complete opposite and his behaviors would "hold me back."
As it turned out, he was insanely jealous. If I so much as talked to another guy, he might freak out. He yelled at me for about two hours once because I walked to class with a professor who I ran into on the way to class. What was I supposed to do? Walk ahead of the professor so that we could get to the same destination staggered!? He even got upset when I talked to one of his friends alone in a lighted hallway. And by alone, I mean, we were the only two involved in the conversation and there were probably 20 or 30 people around us. It was ridiculous. He even got upset because I was going to graduate college quite a while before he would and would be in the "real world" and would be able to talk to "other guys" when he wasn't around.
While we were dating, we got "serious" and we decided we were going to get married (I would have been divorced by now). Because of this, he was going to save his money. The plan was this: he would save his money and I would pay for immediate stuff. Because he had to "feel like the man," I would slip him cash when we went out to eat so it looked like he paid for me. I paid his cell phone bill and bought his clothes a lot of the time.
Well, then we broke up. He had a ton of money. I had ziltch. It was pretty awesome.
The Saturday before Easter, I went over to Gramma and Grampa's house to say hello and tell them about what happened with Chris and I. Grampa is way protective. You don't hurt someone Grampa loves. It hurts him. And if you hurt my Grampa, I hurt you. Just saying.
When I was done telling the story - without shedding one tear - Grampa said, "Well, you can obviously do better than that."
The next day was Easter. I went to family dinner, but it was my first one without a boyfriend in three years and my little brother had just gotten engaged and I was feeling strange being alone with my family (which is just ridiculous). After I ate, I decided it was time to leave. Told everyone I loved them and went over to say bye to Grampa.
Before I got to the chair, he said, "Hang on a second." We walked into the other room where no one could hear us. He said, "I want you to know that I'm proud of you." He leaned over and hugged me. And then he kissed me.
I had to make a quick exit. As soon as I got to my car, I started crying.
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