My Life Be Like...

... I'm not even sure where to go from there.  But lately my life be like some crazy storm zone.  It's driving me absolutely insane and is leaving me barely anytime to handle my actual life.  Work is like a haven to me because I can get completely wrapped up in my job and laugh with my coworkers (at least the ones I like...) and just enjoy ... working.  And to me, that's both really sad and really cool.  I do spend a huge amount of time at work, so that does mean I'm doing ok for quite a bit of my life, but I feel like I should be doing at least as well when I step out of the office and into "life."  But not so.

Here's the deal.  A good friend and I almost had a falling out.  That sucks.  There's tons of drama circulating around that and our relationship is such that it really would not be worth a falling out.

Then a friend of mine passed away.  He was only 30.  They called it "natural causes."  But fuck that shit.  He was freaking 30.  So that sucked.  And what makes that even suckier is he just didn't wake up one Sunday morning.  That same Sunday morning, I had gone to my Facebook app on my iPhone and gone to his wall to write, "I hope you're doing well!  Miss you.  We should get together sometime."  Kinda glad I didn't... 

And on top of all that, my grandfather's health hasn't been great.  Which in and of itself, sucks.  But he is getting better.  But his getting better doesn't mean he's driving or able to do this, that and the other.  It means he needs to be super careful about what he does and how he does normal tasks.  Gramma can't drive.  The whole thing just means added stress.  And to be honest, it seems like the "getting better" he's already done may be in reverse a little.  So who knows what's going on there.  But I end up fairly stressed trying to help them a lot.

What makes it all way worse is that while all this is going on, it's easier to make me mad and it's easier for me to take teasing and playing personally.  And if you know my boyfriend... none of that is good.  And so he's constantly having to calm me down and I go to him for advice on some things, but he is so fed up (rightfully) that he doesn't always want to.  And I get that.  I'm just saying that I'm not "right" right now.  I'm in a not great place and he's getting the brunt end of it.  :(


Point - I have a lot going on.  It's keeping me from having time or energy to write and all I should be doing is writing because it's therapeutic.  But by the time I'm home for the night, have made the boy and I dinner and whatnot, I'm not in the mood to sit with a laptop.  I'm in the mood to watch a sitcom that will take over my overly-easily-entertained pea brain.