And I have C-H-R-I-S-T in my H-E-A-R-T and I will L-I-V-E E-T-E-R-N-A-L-L-Y!!
I swear on my mother's future grave that I hate claiming to be a Christian. HATE it. I don't know if I could say that any stronger. Maybe drop an F-Bomb in there. That would probably truly prove my point. But only 'cause it would seriously piss "Christians" off. Ha! I just realized how funny that could be.
Anyways, I really do. And this annoying-ass kid I know named Russ (he's my neighbor, sorta) came up to me the other day and said, "Hey, you're the first Christian friend I've ever known." I cringed and was a tad offended. I have no idea, honestly, how he picked up on my "being a 'Christian'." I guess it's not a bad thing since he's heard me curse, seen me drink, seen me smoke, heard me curse some more... I don't really live the typical "life of a 'Christian'" and being called a "Christian" really bugged me.
Let me explain. "Christians," on average, SUCK. I can't stand them. They are hypocrites, preachers, and a huge bunch o' gossips who like to ask each other to pray for each other so they can spill a bunch of crap about people they hate. They are mean, evil people who think it's fun to criticize each other in the "name of Jesus" and with each others' best interest at heart. They criticize through saying they wouldn't do something based on their convictions without taking into consideration the fact that not everyone has the same convictions.
I don't go to church. I can't bring myself to do it. The Americanized church is not the Church that Jesus set up when He was here, so I'm not really sure why I should waste my time listening to people not-gossip through prayer and tell me how I should really be living my life (based on their convictions and not taking into account that I'm a completely different person). I recently left a church - well, it was almost a year ago - and I was approached about my decision and just gave a fluff answer about how I wasn't connecting as well as I used to because I didn't wanna deal with hearing her preaching. Her response to my answer was, "Well, I don't know how a Christian with a soul can live in Albuquerque and not come to this church." That basically encapsulated what I hate about church - it's not Church.
Ok, so I should mention at this juncture that this is all a fairly gross generalization. However, there is truth to what I'm saying (at least from my perspective).
Here's an example of why I can't stand "Christians" and how they "bear witness" in their own "moral" way. I wrote a story for a class about my best friend, a girl who attempted to break his heart and my involvement. Because I was dating someone, my involvement looked inappropriate to a girl who was in the class (who I had known for years). She decided that it would be appropriate to "reprimand" me for that in class. This was a week after two other "Christian" girls got in an argument during class regarding religion because of "preaching" that was incorporated in one of their pieces. These two situations blew my witness. I looked like a jackass. All because other girls decided to "witness" in their Judgy McJudgerton ways and include me in their clump. People in my other classes had always assumed I was a religious person because of how I lived. Because I wasn't a jackass, they still respected me. Because my witness wasn't that of, "You're an idiot and are going to hell because you don't believe what I do."
Russ's comment was offensive to me because I don't want to be classified as one of those girls in that English class. I'm hoping his calling me a Christian was more like the people in my other classes who just knew because of how I am. I've never judged him. I've told him he was annoying, but I haven't judged him.
So, sure. I'm a Christian. And don't give a shit if people don't like how I represent.
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