Last night I set my alarm clock for about 7:50 this morning. I needed to make a phone call at 8 and figured I'd sound too groggy if I woke up at say 7:59... Unfortunately, I made my call at 8:00 and there was no answer. So I waited and called back at 8:30. And then 9:00. Finally, at 9:01, someone answered, "Academy Orthopaedic Clinic, how can I help you?"
"Well," I said, "I think I either broke or sprained my foot last night. And I should probably come in and see someone."
The girl responded, "Oh, yes, ma'am. What's your name? Have you been here before? And who do you usually see?"
"Kristen Kinzer. Yes, I've been there and see.... Michelle, I think is her name."
"Can you spell your last name?" I spelled my name for her and waited for her response. "Oh, Kristen Kinzer! You're not just now following up on your last injury, are you?"
I laughed - since that was a year and about 3 weeks ago. "No, I have a new one."
"Oh, good. Well... Not good. But you know what I mean," she said. Then we went through all the usual questions to set up an appointment. I went in at 10:30am.
After I gimped my way into the office, I signed in. I had to redo my paperwork, but the ladies behind the desk had fun with that. "She's here all the time. Does it really matter if she refills out the paperwork?"
"Policy is every year. And it's been just over a year. Let's not argue it." So I filled out the paperwork. And I have moved since then and changed insurance, so it was kind of necessary (really). As I completed the paperwork, one of the girls asked another, "Is the cast room clean." I laughed. Because that's really how it works when I go into the the orthopedic doc. I get a cast.
Finally, I went to the back and they immediately took me to the cast room - taking me to the exam room is typically a waste of time. Someone comes in and takes me to the x-ray room. Every time he positioned my foot, I flinched. That's kind of how I knew I did some damage. I have a high pain tolerance and making me flinch typically means something bad happened.
I went back to the cast room.
Michelle comes in, "I haven't seen you in a while! It's been over a year! I think that may be a record for ya! How ya been? Where ya living? How's your dog?"
We swapped the non-normal pleasantries as we have a deeper relationship with my orthopedic doctor than most... Since I'm more accident-prone than most, I would say.
"What'd'ya do this time?" she asked.
"Ha! I was walking down the hall... At my best friend's house. And he was behind me. And he 'accidentally' stepped on the heel of my shoe. I was in slip-ons, so I tripped. And then my ankle was twisted, right?" She nodded her head. "Then my best friend tripped on me. Now, he's not really a small kid. He weighs a tad more than me. And, I mean, I'm not that big, so that's not being rude. But he tripped on top of me and his knee landed on my foot. Which of course was twisted."
"Yup. That would do it. I imagine you've been thinking of colors the whole time you've been waiting...." She laughed.
Michelle looked at the x-rays and then picked up my foot. I flinched when she touched a few spots and that got a, "Yup. Ya did something. You don't flinch unless it's bad."
"Oh, good. What did I break? How many pieces of tissue did I pull this time?"
"Well," she said as she rolled her little wheely chair back some, "I don't think you really broke anything this time." Immediately, my mind thought SCORE!! She then continued, "You tore your ligament that goes from here to here, which is probably the least painful part. The thing that hurting you is this tendon that you tore. It goes from here to ...... here. And that would be why you can't move your toes! Plus," she stood up for a second to get a closer look at the x-ray, "It looks like you pulled some bone off. You know how you do. You chip the bone when you pull the soft tissue. You're used to that. Looks like about three chunks this time."
"Ah. Good call, Kristen," I said. "Way to tear somethin' crucial."
"Well, oddly enough, this is a fairly common injury for football players. It usually takes place during the tackle. It will take care of itself without major treatment. However, you will need to be casted if you don't wear a really good brace. And you have to wear it all the time. So, I think I'll cast you."
"All the time? As in all the time?" I hate wearing braces and felt that ignoring the cast idea may make her forget about the cast.
"Yes, as in all the time. You can loosen it a little at night. But I think you should be in a cast."
"OK. So I'll go ahead and go with the brace."
"You're going to have to wear it for at least two weeks while being slow and careful and resting and icing. And then you'll have to come back in if you're still in any pain. But I'll tell ya this. You'll probably take six to eight weeks to recover. And you'll wanna stay gentle with it for at least that long. Not too often, but sometimes, this kind of injury requires surgery."
"As in where I come in and let ya take a knife to me?"
"Yup. So wear the brace. I'm writing you a prescription for the best kind you can get. And I'll give you instructions to get to the place where you can pick it up. And you have to have to have to wear it."
I'm sure at this point, I had made a myriad of wonderful facial expressions. I said, "Ok. I'll wear the brace. Surgery would suck." I got off the table and started hobbling towards the exit. She, of course, came with me. And we joked about how my best friend totally owes me now. She said, "Yeah, he should be like serving you and waiting on your every beck and call. This'll suck for ya."
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