If you know me at all, you more than likely know that I’m basically too stubborn for illness. My doctor even knows this and I just recently got a new one. I’m pretty sure my stubbornness follows me in my medical charts. I’m glad.
A few weeks ago, I had to go to the doctor. I was pretty sure that coughing up blood several times (badly enough that I needed to lean over a toilet) was not the best for my body. It really wasn’t until 5 friends told me to go and my boss (who’s more stubborn than me) even said it probably wasn’t a bad idea that I decided I should go. One friend said, “Go to the hospital now. Blood coming from any orifice (other than the obvious girly parts) is bad. Reason for docs.” The argument that my mouth was a girly part (being that it’s on my girl face) did not fly very well.
So, I went to the doctor expecting to be told I have a really bad cold. Maybe bronchitis. She sat me down. Listened to my lungs. Took my blood pressure. You know, all the normal stuff. Then the diagnosis: “Yeah, your lungs sound terrible. I’ve never heard a wheeze like that.”
All I responded with was, “Right. Mmhmm.” She got kinda mad when I said that and then started in with the questions:
“What do you do on a daily basis?”
“Eat bacon.”
“No, I mean, really. What does your typical week look like?”
I knew this meant my days as a person who still had fun were coming to an end… So I lied a little.
“Um… I work some. Not much. And watch a ton of sitcoms. I do have a coffee date with a friend fairly regularly and it’s pretty late. Often around 11 at night.” I was hoping the coffee at 11 would freak her out just enough but she’d stop prying.
“Right. Last time you were here, you said you work full time. And then you said something about having a roommate. What’s your roommate situation?”
I must be a horrible liar because she read right through:
“Great. She’s really sweet. She’s a few years younger than me, so I’m like her older sister.”
“Yeah? Well, that’s good. Sounds like she probably doesn’t pay half the rent. Why’d you get stuck with her? Where are her parents?”
Shit. That’s all I could think. I knew she saw through it. She knows I’m tired a lot and obviously knows that I have joint problems.
“Well, they are here in town. And she talks to them a lot. I just have always spent quite a bit of time with her. She really is like my sister. I love her to death.”
“So, you’re helping her out a lot.”
“Not really. I’m in her wedding.”
“Your emergency contact. Jonathan… P. I’m not even going to try that. Is he your boyfriend?”
“Definitely not.”
“Then why’s he your emergency contact.”
“He’s my best friend. He’s like a brother. His whole family is like my family.”
“You close to his mom and dad?”
“Well, his mom passed away in oh nine.”
“Ah. That’s too bad. Were you around for that?”
“Yeah. Just talked to him when he needed to and stuff.”
“That’s very sweet of you. What do you do on weekends?”
“Hang out with friends on Friday and then on Saturday, Jonathan and I go play games with an old lady we know. She’s 85 and awesome.”
“Oh… So does she have much of a social life?”
“Well, yeah. On Saturday night.”
So this damn conversation went on for a bit longer. She finally said, “Yeah, you are doing too much. You’re helping too many people. I can tell you’re talking stuff down. Do you only have the one job?”
“Yes. One job.”
“You don’t do odd jobs regularly for anyone or anything?”
I think she could tell I was lying.
“Well, I sometimes help one friend out with his books for his company. And other friend with some typing. But it’s really easy and not much work.”
Then proceeded a lecture about getting rest. Taking care of myself. Not helping anyone who needs help. Being lazy. Et cetera. I was ready to shoot her. Then she said the kicker, “You’ve probably had pneumonia for 6 to 8 weeks. It’s probably not even contagious. I’m putting you on 3 prescriptions. One is an antibiotic. Do not go back to work. You’re also going to have to go get your lungs x-rayed.”
Before I could argue, she walked out the door and came back with papers. I got a call 3 days later. “Yes, you have double pneumonia. The doctor says to slow down. You probably only had minor allergies that you never did anything about.”
“Right. Mmhmm.”
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