If I Die Young

If I die young

Bury me in satin

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Sink me in the river at dawn

Send me away with the words of a love song

Oh, oh, the ballad of a dove

Go in peace and love

Gather up your tears

Keep ‘em in your pocket

Save em for a time when you’re really gonna need them

~ The Band Perry “If I Die Young”

Honestly, those are some of the most amazing, intense lyrics I have ever heard.  And oddly, they resonate with me on a level that no other song ever has.  And that resonation is probably one of the more depressing things that I have faced in a really long time.  I’m not sure if this song is prophetic for the Perrys or if it is just a willingness to recognize the imminent possibility of a short life.

I’ve never wanted to live that long.  Honestly, it’s true.  And in the past four weeks, I’ve been faced with the death of seven people I care about.  I only had the gumption and courage to go to two of the memorial services.  At one of the services, I ran into a lady who had been like another mother to me when I was younger.  Her husband passed away when I was a freshman in college a month after one of my good friends committed suicide.  Her husband was like another dad to me – he was the only person besides my dad and my uncle whose lap I would sit on when I was little.  I was almost brought to tears just by hugging her because I didn’t have the emotional capacity to go to her husband’s funeral.

All of these experiences made me realize how precious life really is.

Every day, I wake up and try to fit everything that I possibly can into my day.  I don’t want to miss anything.  It is not uncommon for me to be triple booked in one night.  You never know when you’re going to die. 

The Band Perry goes on to say:

The sharp knife of a short life

Well, I’ve had just enough time

Those are words I hope I can say when I’m in process of passing away.  I hope that at my funeral people really believe that I’ve had enough time.  I don’t care how young I am.

The lyrics of this song are almost enough to make me want to create a bucket list so that I can attempt to accomplish everything I want to before it is my time.  I do know that if I do die young, I do want everyone I know to gather up their tears and save them for a time when they’ll really need them.  I like to think that I mean something to my friends, but I want them to remember me when I’m gone – not miss me.  I want them to have a party and drink and play games and just have fun as if I were there. 

I’ll be haunting them anyhow, so they may as well just pretend I’m there.