Bah

I went to the hospital today. Again. I went to see a lovely lady named Mary. She was in the hospital two weeks ago also. She cracked four ribs the same week my grandma had surgery for her hernia. Mary ended up needing a feeding tube. That surgery went fine. 

This week, she was in rehab when she had to go back cuz she had double pneumonia. While there for that, she ended up with a problem with her g-tube. Basically, she's got more bad bacteria than good bacteria in her tummy that's caused by too many antibiotics and the only way to fight the problem (called c-diff) is to take antibiotics. 

Long story short, she's in quarantine and the doc is worried. 

Mary and my family go WAY back. My grandparents knew her and her hubby when they were in college. Her hubby passed away last year. She is one of the sweetest women in the world - I'd give my life for her. She's amazing. Jonathan and I attempt to play poker with her (and her family) a couple Saturdays every month. When her family is out of town, I check on her. She lives about 100 steps away from me in my apartment complex. When I check on her, we always have awesome conversations. She tells me about her childhood and about her marriage. We've definitely bonded and she's confided in me and me in her. She's like another gramma. 

Well, today, when I heard how sick she was at about eight this morning, I was overcome with how much I really care for her and how I've kind of taken her life for granted. She's so amazing, I wouldn't want to think of her NOT being around. The doctor is "concerned." Naturally, I don't like to hear that. I don't mean to jump the gun or whatever, but I don't know that I'll play poker with her again. Sadder yet, if I don't get to play poker with her and she stays as sick as she is, I won't be able to go in to see her - I couldn't risk taking germs to my gramparents. 

All this has already taught me that I need to stop taking others' lives for granted and attempt to see people as often as possible. Especially my old friends (old being... Old). It's also taught me how selfish I am when someone I love may be on their way out. And that I need to learn a better way to "prepare myself" for the loss of a loved one. 

Hmmm... I guess this is mostly un-artistic, pointless ramblings. Who knows. And I really hope my preparation is WAY premature.