Everything to Everyone

I was in the passenger seat, Jonathan in the driver seat.  We'd been in the car for hours.  We were driving back East as we always do, and I'm sure I was bored.  I'm bored for so long when we drive back there, I seldom remember the parts of the ride that don't bore me.  Just remember specific moments.  One moment this last trip that I remember way to vividly is when an Everclear song came on the radio.  Jonathan almost skipped it, well, did skip it and went back to it and said, "This song always makes me think of you."  I listened to the song and was somewhere between offended and happy that it made him think of me (and yes, the spectrum broadity is not lost on me).  

You put yourself in stupid places
Yes I think you know it's true
Situations where it's easy to look down on you
I think you like to be the victim
I think you like to be in pain
I think you make yourself a victim almost every single day
 

You do what you do
You say what you say
You try to be everything to everyone
You know all the right people
You play all the right games
You always try to be everything to everyone
 

Yeah you do it again

You always do it again
 

You say they taught you to read and write
Yeah they taught you how to count
I say they tought you how to buy and sell your own body by the pound
I think you like to be their simple toy
I think you love to play the clown
I think you are blind to the fact that the hand you hold is the hand that holds you down
Spin around and fall down
Do it again

That is not all of the lyrics to "Everything to Everyone," but it's the jist.  So, I was offended because of the lines like "like to be a victim," "you play all the right games," and "you like to be in pain."  

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I do end up trying to be everything to everyone.  If anyone I know needs anything, I'm there.  That's fine.  I'm totally chill with being there for my friends, but the thing is - I do fall, and I do burn out because I put myself out there so much for so many people.  And then I'm dead and can't help anyone.  But as soon as I get up again, I start the cycle over. 

And I'm totally ok with that song making Jonathan think of me.  It sucks that I'm that way, but it's who I am.  And I always have him to pick me up again.  :)